So you want to talk about odd jobs, how about finding a buyer for 70 baby Sulcata tortoises. That was my assignment this past week in Phoenix, Arizona. I got a call from my host family in Phoenix asking me to take on the task, and I was directed to a Reptile Expo in Mesa so see if I could find any potential buyers. Now I don’t know how many of you have ever been to a “Reptile Expo” before, but it is definitely an interesting crowd. There are basically two types of people there: Parents with their young children, “oooh Daddy look at the pretty turtles” and then dudes and chicks rocking multiple tats and piercings, “yo bro, I bet if I get a couple more tats I will have more scales than that lizard.” These types of crowds aren’t normally mixed, I mean you’re not gonna find Playboys in the kids section at Barnes and Noble right? Nevertheless, made for some awesome people watching, which the Jobtrotter is all about. So after wandering a bit and checking out the exhibits, I found my guy. Mitch, who owns a reptile habit and retail store in SoCal, is always looking for tortoise sources. We exchanged info and made plans to make the deal the next morning. After speaking with the tortoise owners and negotiating a price, Mitch sent out his reptile loving apprentices and we made the deal. (Put the cash on the table, I want to see it first…ok this was not that cool I know, I know). In the end, both parties walked away happy and I even came away with a baby Sulcata of my own. Perks of the job, what can I say…now I’ll be hitting the road with a baby tortoise as my sidekick, a sure boost to my street-cred…baallllinnng
What’s up OddJobNation, TheJobTrotter here. I have been traveling these United States for a month now, and I figured its time I start sharing some stories of the road. I am looking forward blogging about some cool people I meet, breaking down some odd job experiences, and reliving a few crazy stories the jobtrotting will bring. Stay posted right here!
OJN has scoured the boards to bring you the 10 oddest jobs available in the workosphere. If this column suits your fancy, subscribe over on the right side, whydontcha?
By: Lauren Oppelt & Jeremy Redleaf
Wingwoman
New York, NY
This pro-active nerd is willing to pay an “introduction specialist” $10 per phone number that doesn’t start with 555… good luck to you.
Somewhere in Maine/Negotiable Compensation
Because hanging out with someone who might eat you is way more exciting than making copies at a fashion internship.
Seeking Finger or Toe Amputee for Prosthetic Modeling
Birmingham, AL/ $100 per session
If you’ve don’t got it, flaunt it…
Cowboy Poet for BBQ Entertainment
Corrales, NM/ “Fair Pay TBD”
“Shall I compare thee to a tender brisket?”
Muffin Top Models for Music Video
New York, NY/ No Pay
“No real acting involved, just be willing to have yourself videoed on the streets of Manhattan with your MT showing, and having handsome actors admire you as you go by”
Because there’s no better way to say “f-you” to your flab than by becoming an internet meme.
Write for Blood Knot Magazine (Fly Fishing)
Worldwide/ No Pay
“If you’re passionate about fly fishing and want to share that passion through prose, drop us a line.”
…Get it? A line? … please help them.
Philadelphia, PA/ $25 per hour
“Wanna go back to my bouncy castle?” has a nice ring to it…
Pet Waste Technician
Middleton, Delaware/ $8-10 per hour
While we appreciate the dignity of the title, let’s call a spade a spade here… you’re gonna be slinging a lot of poop.
Pool Shark Needed for Wedding Party
Portland, ME/ $50-$75 per hour
Drunk-cle Charlie is gonna LOVE the backwards bank shot…
I Need A Chimney Sweep
Auburn, ME/Negotiable
Uh, we were just looking for an excuse to embed this video. Chim Chiminee Chim Chiminee…
Link
OJN has scoured the boards to bring you the 10 oddest jobs available in the workosphere. If this column suits your fancy, subscribe over on the right side, whydontcha?
By: Lauren Oppelt & Jeremy Redleaf
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Rice Eaters
Orange County, CA- $75/hr.
Apparently, now they’re paying people to eat carbs in California…
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Host/Facilitator For Beer Pong Tournaments
National Tour- Commission Based
Name like “Porkchop” or “Toopher” helpful, but not necessary.
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Online Focus Group for Online Members of the Asthma Community
Online- $25 Amazon Gift Certificate
It’s online, in case you were feeling a little self-conscious about the size of your inhaler.
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Need Beautiful Female For Assignment
Houston, TX
“I am in need of a beautiful female (preferably latina) for… a mission. But you must be very attractive to complete it.” I can’t confirm anything, but his name might be Charlie… And the mission might be in his pants.
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Exercise Cheerleader
New York, NY- $30
R-Y-A-N stretch your legs out towards the den!
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Write Apology Letter or Nice Original Poem
Atlanta, GA- $20
“To a guy. Apologize for not being able to express emotion… We have a lot of fun, but I see pain in his eyes sometimes.”
Because nothing says “I love you”… like having some else say it.
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Casting Elvis Impersonators
Minneapolis, MN
Calling all out-of-work Elvi! Screw Vegas; Minneapolis has four seasons and an abundance of blue suede opportunities!
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Warriors Needed!!!
Atlanta, GA
“I am looking for a big hairy warrior that likes to yell loudly and wave his banner high and proud for Warrior Bash 2010!”
Yeah, me too buddy. Please apply at inlaurensbed.com. Also accepting applications for Cowboys and Lumberjacks.
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Mock Jurors Needed
Seattle, WA- $50/3 hrs.
Get paid to hypothetically convict pedophiles and arsons… justice will be served with a pizza break.
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Singing Telegram Messenger
Salt Lake City, UT- Pay Based on Performance
“You will get paid based on your telegram talents, but don’t be fooled, you won’t get rich doing it.” And, uh, make sure you don’t let this happen:
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Catastrophic Storm Insurance Adjuster
Seamstress/Tailor for a Children’s Leprechaun Costume
She can’t sew but she knows what she wants- a lifetime of shame and ridicule for her child. It’s magically delicious!
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Masochist Study Get paid to hate yourself in front of a bunch of smarties. Britney Spears does it, why can’t you? http://twurl.nl/08ci1f
